1 00:00:24,259 --> 00:00:26,659 Julia Windischbauer 2 00:00:28,659 --> 00:00:31,219 Sebastian Koch 3 00:00:33,699 --> 00:00:37,539 Leopold Vita, Claire Bender Bart Culver 4 00:00:40,179 --> 00:00:43,699 Creator of the series: Hagai Levy According to Etty Hilsum's diaries 5 00:01:05,459 --> 00:01:06,699 .please 6 00:01:20,899 --> 00:01:22,779 ?It is possible yes- 7 00:01:46,139 --> 00:01:47,259 .good 8 00:01:49,579 --> 00:01:52,379 See you again next week .for the decoding 9 00:02:00,659 --> 00:02:02,859 with me 10 00:02:02,979 --> 00:02:07,939 Chapter 1: A Little Piece of Chaos 11 00:04:22,019 --> 00:04:23,259 his eyes 12 00:04:23,379 --> 00:04:24,939 , the darkness, faded 13 00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:27,699 Astounding wisdom 14 00:04:28,179 --> 00:04:29,899 A look stays inside me 15 00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:35,379 .but there is something almost repulsive in the mouth 16 00:04:40,179 --> 00:04:41,739 , at any moment 17 00:04:42,139 --> 00:04:43,979 His face looks completely different 18 00:04:57,339 --> 00:05:01,659 Enough of oppression Enough of the oppression! 19 00:05:05,899 --> 00:05:08,219 We will continue to fight We will stay united! 20 00:05:08,459 --> 00:05:09,659 Want a sign? 21 00:05:09,979 --> 00:05:11,139 We will never give up 22 00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:13,659 We will continue to fight We will never give up! 23 00:05:17,179 --> 00:05:19,619 What time is it? The hour of solidarity! 24 00:05:19,699 --> 00:05:22,259 What time is it? The hour of solidarity! 25 00:05:24,899 --> 00:05:28,619 I want to invite you to the stage the great writer 26 00:05:29,059 --> 00:05:33,499 and the host of "The Red Thread" at the station "Socialist Radio" Vara 27 00:05:33,739 --> 00:05:35,139 Class Semlik 28 00:05:43,579 --> 00:05:47,339 Violence, friends, any form of , violence 29 00:05:47,739 --> 00:05:49,779 , as you all know 30 00:05:50,459 --> 00:05:53,059 .is the product of deep social injustice 31 00:05:55,179 --> 00:05:58,059 And the violence with which we are faced today 32 00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:02,259 , she, first and foremost , a product of neoliberal economics 33 00:06:03,139 --> 00:06:05,099 ...of abysmal inequality 34 00:06:06,819 --> 00:06:08,659 Hi! Put it back together !Electrify, man 35 00:06:08,859 --> 00:06:10,499 Plug it in! 36 00:06:10,859 --> 00:06:12,419 !You mustn't do that 37 00:06:12,579 --> 00:06:15,739 !We listen to him what are you doing- 38 00:06:15,819 --> 00:06:19,259 Look! This is what fascism looks like 39 00:06:19,899 --> 00:06:22,099 They said "no" to fascism 40 00:06:23,899 --> 00:06:26,099 They said "no" to fascism 41 00:06:26,579 --> 00:06:28,899 We will continue to fight racism 42 00:06:29,019 --> 00:06:33,139 In the hatred of foreigners and the oppression of the weak 43 00:06:33,499 --> 00:06:36,939 One, two, three, four Immigrants are welcome here- 44 00:06:37,139 --> 00:06:40,739 One, two, three, four Immigrants are welcome here- 45 00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:44,619 One, two, three, four Immigrants are welcome here- 46 00:06:44,819 --> 00:06:48,539 , they want us to be afraid to tell the truth 47 00:06:49,379 --> 00:06:51,179 But look around you 48 00:06:52,339 --> 00:06:55,699 We came here to make our voice heard 49 00:07:04,419 --> 00:07:05,739 Good morning 50 00:07:15,899 --> 00:07:19,019 I will mark all those outside .as present 51 00:07:24,179 --> 00:07:28,539 Tell us, please, the name of the author .whose work you translated 52 00:07:32,739 --> 00:07:33,899 Class Semlik 53 00:07:36,859 --> 00:07:38,339 What a coincidence 54 00:07:41,139 --> 00:07:43,899 His pale, faded eyes 55 00:07:44,259 --> 00:07:45,899 Astounding wisdom 56 00:07:47,139 --> 00:07:50,299 A look stays inside me 57 00:07:51,139 --> 00:07:54,259 .but there is something almost repulsive in the mouth 58 00:07:55,019 --> 00:07:59,019 , at any moment His face looks completely different 59 00:07:59,859 --> 00:08:03,499 You think you can to see them clearly and sharply 60 00:08:04,339 --> 00:08:05,259 But then 61 00:08:05,339 --> 00:08:09,819 They return and shatter , into countless conflicting fragments 62 00:08:10,579 --> 00:08:12,819 , which create a vague image 63 00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:14,859 A bereaved paradox 64 00:08:15,339 --> 00:08:18,139 See, indeed 65 00:08:18,379 --> 00:08:24,339 A fierce battle between spirit and matter . unfolds in full force in this man 66 00:08:33,339 --> 00:08:34,579 Thank you 67 00:08:38,779 --> 00:08:41,099 .A surprising choice, Klaas Semlik 68 00:08:41,539 --> 00:08:42,979 Why did you think of him? 69 00:08:43,499 --> 00:08:45,939 I know him 70 00:08:46,179 --> 00:08:49,659 We met once in Deventer, the city .where I came from - Aha 71 00:08:51,059 --> 00:08:53,459 Yes, we kept in touch 72 00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:56,939 ...is... okay? i.e 73 00:08:57,619 --> 00:09:00,859 ?How does he deal with the situation? ...it's- 74 00:09:01,739 --> 00:09:03,299 .it wasn't easy 75 00:09:04,779 --> 00:09:07,819 During the invasion, when there was a wave , the suicides 76 00:09:08,499 --> 00:09:10,099 He also tried to commit suicide 77 00:09:13,059 --> 00:09:14,579 .and I stopped him 78 00:09:15,899 --> 00:09:16,899 ...so 79 00:09:17,579 --> 00:09:21,259 I guess the Dutch literary world ...owes me something 80 00:09:27,619 --> 00:09:29,459 I didn't know that 81 00:09:33,779 --> 00:09:36,099 But Klaas Semlik did not write .this text 82 00:09:37,819 --> 00:09:41,379 Samlik is not able To write such a text about another man 83 00:09:41,499 --> 00:09:44,259 , about a woman, certainly, but even then 84 00:09:44,499 --> 00:09:47,979 There's no way he'll be good .like the text you just read 85 00:09:49,779 --> 00:09:53,339 ...yes, I...the truth is that 86 00:09:53,579 --> 00:09:56,899 I started translating text ...of Carrie Van Bruhn, but 87 00:09:57,499 --> 00:10:01,059 ...something didn't quite work, so I thought 88 00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:03,299 ...that is 89 00:10:04,699 --> 00:10:06,339 I wrote my own text 90 00:10:07,939 --> 00:10:09,179 But I wrote it in Dutch 91 00:10:09,259 --> 00:10:11,339 .and only then did I translate it into Russian 92 00:10:11,419 --> 00:10:16,059 , so in terms of the requirements of the exercise 93 00:10:16,819 --> 00:10:18,739 This is still a work of translation 94 00:10:19,139 --> 00:10:22,179 .of a literary text. That was the drill 95 00:10:22,339 --> 00:10:25,219 Are you a writer? Not yet- 96 00:10:27,499 --> 00:10:28,699 ...I really am 97 00:10:28,859 --> 00:10:30,299 I'm sorry if that sounds ...Pretentious, though 98 00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:32,259 i feel that I need to take advantage of every opportunity 99 00:10:32,339 --> 00:10:33,619 , to improve my technique 100 00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:37,019 If what I want to do In life is to write 101 00:10:42,259 --> 00:10:47,339 Anyway, I apologize .I only changed it at the last minute 102 00:10:49,699 --> 00:10:53,339 If I submit a real translation , until the end of the semester 103 00:10:53,739 --> 00:10:54,819 ?It will be fine 104 00:10:54,979 --> 00:10:55,859 .Yes 105 00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:57,979 .perfectly fine 106 00:10:58,939 --> 00:11:01,499 If it still has any meaning at all .so 107 00:11:02,139 --> 00:11:03,139 , I have to say 108 00:11:03,659 --> 00:11:05,979 Which in my opinion, it has now even .more meaning 109 00:11:06,179 --> 00:11:08,259 For me, one line of Pushkin 110 00:11:08,339 --> 00:11:12,219 no less significant .from any racist law 111 00:11:13,619 --> 00:11:15,099 ?You don't agree 112 00:11:16,699 --> 00:11:18,819 I guess that's a way to look at it .it is, yes 113 00:11:20,419 --> 00:11:21,339 ...anyway 114 00:11:22,299 --> 00:11:25,659 ...Yes, I apologize 115 00:11:25,979 --> 00:11:29,099 I wasted your time .with my literary pretensions 116 00:11:30,659 --> 00:11:31,739 .that's fine 117 00:11:33,499 --> 00:11:37,939 If there is something I really don't lack .Now, it's time 118 00:11:39,619 --> 00:11:41,579 ?Everything is fine, Professor 119 00:11:41,859 --> 00:11:42,699 .Yes 120 00:11:44,539 --> 00:11:46,499 ...you look a bit ...well, I- 121 00:11:47,299 --> 00:11:49,299 I was fired this morning 122 00:11:53,459 --> 00:11:54,619 What 123 00:11:57,019 --> 00:11:59,739 Why? The usual reasons- 124 00:12:01,779 --> 00:12:04,419 Offenses against the regime or something like that 125 00:12:05,419 --> 00:12:07,659 When you're a Marxist, you don't have to .much more than that 126 00:12:09,499 --> 00:12:11,739 ...it can't be It's okay, it's okay- 127 00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:14,379 ...I wanted to retire anyway, then 128 00:12:15,179 --> 00:12:16,179 Really 129 00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:18,979 No 130 00:12:20,819 --> 00:12:22,099 ...it's terrible 131 00:12:26,859 --> 00:12:28,219 ...there is something 132 00:12:29,739 --> 00:12:34,019 What if all the students ?In the circle they will sign a petition 133 00:12:34,419 --> 00:12:38,299 I don't think so at this point .they are still reading petitions 134 00:12:39,299 --> 00:12:40,939 .there is not much to do 135 00:12:42,859 --> 00:12:46,619 , in the end .it will reach each of us 136 00:12:50,939 --> 00:12:52,979 .It was my pleasure, Miss Hilsom 137 00:12:56,739 --> 00:12:58,459 ...I am 138 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,459 ...I'm sorry, but I 139 00:13:03,139 --> 00:13:04,859 I feel so stupid 140 00:13:04,939 --> 00:13:07,379 And egocentric, now that I am ...know you are 141 00:13:07,499 --> 00:13:09,299 Well, good 142 00:13:09,379 --> 00:13:12,539 Everyone finds their own way . deal with the situation 143 00:13:14,139 --> 00:13:15,099 Hello 144 00:13:50,939 --> 00:13:52,379 Hi Hey, Hans- 145 00:13:53,379 --> 00:13:55,179 You haven't paid the rent yet .this month 146 00:13:55,979 --> 00:13:58,899 , what? - Already the eighth of the month .and you haven't paid yet 147 00:13:59,419 --> 00:14:00,939 Oh, yes. sorry 148 00:14:01,059 --> 00:14:02,419 But I talked to your father 149 00:14:02,499 --> 00:14:04,699 And he said I can pay .next month 150 00:14:04,779 --> 00:14:06,419 He didn't tell me anything about it 151 00:14:07,459 --> 00:14:10,139 ...Okay, so I'll talk to him .no, never mind- 152 00:14:10,299 --> 00:14:11,499 I will talk to him 153 00:14:11,899 --> 00:14:15,459 We are still taking risks when we are ...they rent you a room here, so at least 154 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:23,179 with me ?Hey, Han. what are you doing at home 155 00:14:23,299 --> 00:14:27,099 .I helped Hans with his exam What's going on? 156 00:14:27,339 --> 00:14:30,659 ...nothing. I am What, say, everything is fine- 157 00:14:33,259 --> 00:14:35,499 ...hey- Excuse me, I need a moment - 158 00:14:37,619 --> 00:14:38,939 .soon 159 00:15:03,899 --> 00:15:05,059 with me 160 00:15:05,539 --> 00:15:06,819 Beloved 161 00:15:08,379 --> 00:15:09,899 I will get up soon 162 00:15:10,819 --> 00:15:12,699 I just need to get some sleep 163 00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:18,299 Come on, I'll make you something to eat ...and then you can 164 00:15:19,099 --> 00:15:20,299 ?Then, well 165 00:15:22,539 --> 00:15:25,179 I think I'll stay in bed until .this morning 166 00:15:25,979 --> 00:15:27,419 .and then I'll be fine again 167 00:15:32,379 --> 00:15:35,019 Are you ready to tell me what happened? 168 00:15:38,779 --> 00:15:40,419 ...you know someone 169 00:15:41,539 --> 00:15:43,579 ?More egocentric than me 170 00:15:43,699 --> 00:15:45,099 ...Me, really 171 00:15:45,179 --> 00:15:48,659 No really, you have a lot of friends , colleagues 172 00:15:49,619 --> 00:15:51,219 ...you know people 173 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:05,139 , first, at the university 174 00:16:05,779 --> 00:16:07,699 , after the class with Van Donker 175 00:16:08,819 --> 00:16:10,659 He asked me a question 176 00:16:11,699 --> 00:16:14,419 And I gave him a ten minute monologue 177 00:16:14,779 --> 00:16:18,019 About who I want to be The greatest writer of the century 178 00:16:19,059 --> 00:16:24,539 I stand there, chatting to myself ...to know, and he just nods, then 179 00:16:27,139 --> 00:16:31,539 Then he tells me that he was fired ?fired? why- 180 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:35,259 The usual, political cleansing They didn't like his Marxism 181 00:16:35,339 --> 00:16:37,859 But the point is - life , of the man were destroyed 182 00:16:39,459 --> 00:16:43,419 This department at the university .is all he has 183 00:16:45,459 --> 00:16:48,859 .except his wife maybe. They have no children 184 00:16:52,259 --> 00:16:54,019 ...how stupid I can be 185 00:17:03,179 --> 00:17:07,299 Van Donker, that's not it ?That you go to his lessons at home 186 00:17:08,219 --> 00:17:09,739 ?On Vosio St 187 00:17:11,259 --> 00:17:12,819 Yes, on Fridays 188 00:17:14,499 --> 00:17:16,019 So go visit him 189 00:17:17,779 --> 00:17:20,179 Ring the doorbell, bring flowers 190 00:17:20,739 --> 00:17:24,259 Tell him how sorry you are .about his dismissal 191 00:17:28,899 --> 00:17:30,539 No Why not- 192 00:17:31,899 --> 00:17:34,419 After all, you won't heal from it 193 00:17:34,779 --> 00:17:36,859 , and then the next time you see him 194 00:17:37,179 --> 00:17:39,579 Find out that he didn't even think about you 195 00:18:06,899 --> 00:18:09,779 ?Excuse me. what happened 196 00:18:10,219 --> 00:18:13,459 It's at Van Donker's. something .happened to the professor 197 00:18:14,499 --> 00:18:15,539 Sorry 198 00:18:48,019 --> 00:18:49,019 .Mrs. Van Donker 199 00:18:51,699 --> 00:18:53,899 I'm Etty Hilsum, from the class .on Fridays 200 00:18:53,979 --> 00:18:54,819 .Yes 201 00:18:56,539 --> 00:18:57,579 What happened? 202 00:19:00,819 --> 00:19:02,659 .He shot himself 203 00:19:06,019 --> 00:19:07,379 ?But... what 204 00:19:09,979 --> 00:19:11,099 ?When 205 00:19:11,979 --> 00:19:14,379 He came back from university ...after his class 206 00:19:14,459 --> 00:19:17,379 I was just talking to him .it can't be 207 00:19:19,019 --> 00:19:22,619 So you're probably the last person .who spoke to him 208 00:19:23,219 --> 00:19:24,059 Sorry yes- 209 00:19:24,179 --> 00:19:25,819 Mrs. Van Donker, you want ?come with us 210 00:19:25,899 --> 00:19:26,699 .Yes 211 00:19:29,779 --> 00:19:32,739 .I... My condolences 212 00:19:33,939 --> 00:19:35,219 Thank you 213 00:19:36,299 --> 00:19:37,339 Hello 214 00:21:06,259 --> 00:21:10,299 Sometimes it seems to me that it is much easier .not to live than to live 215 00:21:12,139 --> 00:21:14,659 After all, there is nothing holding me back .here 216 00:21:15,379 --> 00:21:17,059 I already know everything 217 00:21:18,019 --> 00:21:21,339 I don't really need to live either .this 218 00:21:24,059 --> 00:21:27,899 And then I just want to sink into silence into a muddy ditch 219 00:21:27,979 --> 00:21:29,979 , to fall asleep from delicacy 220 00:21:32,779 --> 00:21:34,219 .to surrender 221 00:22:18,499 --> 00:22:20,779 Mrs. Hilsom Mr. Sapir- 222 00:22:21,059 --> 00:22:22,299 Come on, come in 223 00:22:26,259 --> 00:22:27,299 Come on 224 00:22:30,019 --> 00:22:33,379 Wait here a moment, please. I am right away .comes back 225 00:23:23,059 --> 00:23:25,339 .Oh, no, here at the table please 226 00:23:29,299 --> 00:23:31,099 Sorry, sorry 227 00:23:31,179 --> 00:23:32,499 .that's fine 228 00:23:33,339 --> 00:23:36,699 As you may know, I don't A great follower of psychoanalysis 229 00:23:37,139 --> 00:23:39,219 .not anymore, anyway 230 00:23:39,299 --> 00:23:42,939 But the sofa - no I could have left in Berlin 231 00:23:44,419 --> 00:23:45,459 Why? 232 00:23:45,819 --> 00:23:47,619 .she is just too beautiful 233 00:23:48,219 --> 00:23:52,779 No, I meant psychoanalysis Why did you stop believing in her? 234 00:23:54,299 --> 00:23:57,179 Oh, my hearing was getting worse 235 00:23:57,339 --> 00:24:01,459 Until finally I couldn't hear .my patients when they were lying down 236 00:24:02,259 --> 00:24:04,539 , but at some point I asked myself 237 00:24:04,779 --> 00:24:07,899 How can I even help anyone? ?If I don't see his face 238 00:24:08,259 --> 00:24:10,539 ?How about a little... human love 239 00:24:21,299 --> 00:24:23,499 ?How did you feel this week? 240 00:24:26,539 --> 00:24:27,779 , the truth 241 00:24:30,779 --> 00:24:33,099 Since last Tuesday, when ...donker 242 00:24:34,459 --> 00:24:35,699 , passed away 243 00:24:36,979 --> 00:24:38,459 I'm not really functioning 244 00:24:42,259 --> 00:24:45,979 ?Have you heard of it? ?Yes. you knew him- 245 00:24:48,299 --> 00:24:49,859 I was his student 246 00:24:51,099 --> 00:24:52,259 .Slavic studies 247 00:24:54,099 --> 00:24:55,139 ...oh, me 248 00:24:56,299 --> 00:24:57,619 .I'm sorry 249 00:25:03,099 --> 00:25:06,739 I met him for a few hours ...before he is 250 00:25:12,739 --> 00:25:17,819 Then I realized I probably was .the last person he spoke to 251 00:25:20,419 --> 00:25:23,779 ?What makes you think that? His wife told me- 252 00:25:26,899 --> 00:25:28,859 ...she didn't blame me 253 00:25:30,939 --> 00:25:33,059 It was already my job 254 00:25:38,339 --> 00:25:39,979 .I'm really very sorry 255 00:25:44,019 --> 00:25:45,659 .It must have been horrifying for you 256 00:25:50,259 --> 00:25:52,139 : But you mustn't forget 257 00:25:53,539 --> 00:25:55,739 No one could prevent you .this 258 00:25:57,379 --> 00:25:58,419 .no one 259 00:25:58,979 --> 00:26:00,659 ?You know that, right? 260 00:26:05,379 --> 00:26:08,579 Yes, that's what everyone tells me ...but 261 00:26:11,739 --> 00:26:13,819 It startled me so much at the same ...wait 262 00:26:14,819 --> 00:26:17,579 .I rode all over the city like crazy 263 00:26:19,699 --> 00:26:21,699 .I couldn't stop 264 00:26:25,659 --> 00:26:27,779 ?What was there that startled you so much? 265 00:26:35,099 --> 00:26:38,179 The first thought that came to mind ...in my mind was 266 00:26:40,979 --> 00:26:42,019 ...I felt 267 00:26:43,819 --> 00:26:44,979 Jealousy 268 00:26:47,459 --> 00:26:49,619 For a moment I imagined 269 00:26:50,339 --> 00:26:51,539 that the ball 270 00:26:51,819 --> 00:26:54,099 ...passes right through his head 271 00:26:54,699 --> 00:26:56,019 .into my head 272 00:27:00,299 --> 00:27:01,859 .and I felt relieved 273 00:27:14,099 --> 00:27:15,979 ?You can understand that 274 00:27:17,939 --> 00:27:19,059 .Yes 275 00:27:19,739 --> 00:27:20,979 ?Yes 276 00:27:22,099 --> 00:27:23,539 ?What do you understand? 277 00:27:24,459 --> 00:27:28,539 I understand how such a thought , can be scary 278 00:27:29,179 --> 00:27:33,379 The thought that maybe you are too capable of doing such a thing 279 00:27:41,539 --> 00:27:44,099 Yes, the truth I stood on ...what a bridge all night 280 00:27:48,819 --> 00:27:50,899 .but I didn't have the courage to jump 281 00:27:54,099 --> 00:27:56,459 .I don't think it's a question of courage 282 00:27:57,099 --> 00:27:59,179 I think you just don't want to .to die 283 00:28:00,779 --> 00:28:01,859 ...good 284 00:28:04,379 --> 00:28:06,099 You have no idea How many times a day I imagine 285 00:28:06,179 --> 00:28:11,459 A bomb falling from a plane, or ...a branch from some tree 286 00:28:14,979 --> 00:28:16,499 .It could have been a good solution 287 00:28:20,099 --> 00:28:21,459 And what else? 288 00:28:24,059 --> 00:28:25,059 What 289 00:28:25,939 --> 00:28:28,699 In what other ways do you fantasize? ?On death 290 00:28:32,499 --> 00:28:35,379 There is no limit to my creativity .when it comes down to it 291 00:28:37,579 --> 00:28:40,179 It could be that I fell asleep , a bench 292 00:28:41,259 --> 00:28:43,739 Then little by little snow covers me .and I'm freezing to death 293 00:28:46,059 --> 00:28:48,459 Or I skate with my bike 294 00:28:48,619 --> 00:28:51,019 .and falls into a ditch and drowns 295 00:28:56,259 --> 00:28:59,539 But you never hurt ?Actively yourself, right? 296 00:29:01,259 --> 00:29:03,579 In your fantasies you are always passive 297 00:29:04,819 --> 00:29:07,139 It is always some external force 298 00:29:07,219 --> 00:29:09,579 .that saves you from your despair 299 00:29:11,859 --> 00:29:13,099 .Yes 300 00:29:15,299 --> 00:29:17,499 ...actually do it 301 00:29:21,459 --> 00:29:23,619 .It is beyond my strength 302 00:29:26,099 --> 00:29:27,499 .I don't think so 303 00:29:29,179 --> 00:29:31,419 I think you just don't .want to do it 304 00:29:33,179 --> 00:29:34,779 You want to live 305 00:29:41,059 --> 00:29:43,019 ?How can you tell? 306 00:29:46,499 --> 00:29:48,059 ?From reading my palm 307 00:29:50,139 --> 00:29:51,219 .also, yes 308 00:29:56,099 --> 00:29:59,899 OK, so let's talk .about my diagnosis now 309 00:30:00,019 --> 00:30:01,339 That's what we gathered for 310 00:30:02,899 --> 00:30:03,899 ?No 311 00:30:04,939 --> 00:30:07,659 .Yes I admit it intrigues me a lot- 312 00:30:07,939 --> 00:30:09,659 ...although it's not exactly the 313 00:30:14,739 --> 00:30:18,419 You know, I saw you , giving a lecture at the university 314 00:30:19,579 --> 00:30:23,099 And Lizzie kept insisting that I come to you 315 00:30:23,859 --> 00:30:25,699 : So in the end I thought 316 00:30:27,859 --> 00:30:29,339 ?Yes, why not? 317 00:30:30,099 --> 00:30:32,139 I can put everything aside for a moment .my skepticism and prejudices 318 00:30:32,219 --> 00:30:33,699 And I don't deny it 319 00:30:33,779 --> 00:30:36,779 that I am a man who believes , by scientific methods 320 00:30:36,859 --> 00:30:38,139 , and I... yes 321 00:30:38,699 --> 00:30:41,379 I don't need to apologize for that 322 00:30:41,619 --> 00:30:44,299 But I came to a conclusion 323 00:30:44,499 --> 00:30:48,099 which is quite logical that experiences and traumas 324 00:30:48,659 --> 00:30:51,019 .can also have physical expression 325 00:30:52,219 --> 00:30:55,619 I mean, it's not unreasonable for such things to be expressed 326 00:30:56,019 --> 00:30:57,979 .even in the palm of your hand 327 00:30:58,619 --> 00:31:01,699 ...as long as it's not fortune telling 328 00:31:04,299 --> 00:31:06,379 ?It's not, right? 329 00:31:08,659 --> 00:31:10,179 ?Reading fortunes 330 00:31:10,859 --> 00:31:12,539 .No, it's not 331 00:31:13,219 --> 00:31:14,499 ...Good, then 332 00:31:15,419 --> 00:31:17,819 .Give me a sample of my papers 333 00:31:19,419 --> 00:31:20,779 Definitely 334 00:31:21,819 --> 00:31:25,299 For example, what is happening here right now 335 00:31:26,859 --> 00:31:31,099 Your need to rule your mind .over your feelings 336 00:31:35,579 --> 00:31:36,979 ?I can 337 00:31:39,579 --> 00:31:40,459 .Yes 338 00:31:50,579 --> 00:31:53,539 .Apollo... the name is not important at the moment 339 00:31:53,819 --> 00:31:55,419 In yours it is very strong 340 00:31:55,659 --> 00:31:58,219 You can see the curved head line 341 00:31:58,379 --> 00:32:02,179 , and the strong heart line , with all these little ramifications 342 00:32:02,419 --> 00:32:04,179 .indicate strong emotions 343 00:32:05,579 --> 00:32:08,059 Saturn, the forearm. she represents .logic 344 00:32:08,539 --> 00:32:09,699 Do you see how long it is with you? 345 00:32:10,259 --> 00:32:11,539 And how strong 346 00:32:12,299 --> 00:32:13,939 .She is very dominant 347 00:32:15,059 --> 00:32:18,339 You can see it : also as a conflict between the parents 348 00:32:21,299 --> 00:32:24,579 , the mother - stormy, aggressive 349 00:32:25,179 --> 00:32:26,859 .but also depressive 350 00:32:27,859 --> 00:32:30,459 , and here is the father: rational 351 00:32:30,619 --> 00:32:32,539 .maybe a little restrained 352 00:32:32,739 --> 00:32:35,899 , and your preference for father, for logic 353 00:32:36,259 --> 00:32:37,979 .is clearly seen here 354 00:32:40,179 --> 00:32:42,539 , and you can understand that 355 00:32:42,699 --> 00:32:45,659 Because these turbulent feelings 356 00:32:45,779 --> 00:32:47,819 You have to stop immediately 357 00:32:48,179 --> 00:32:50,419 , so as not to lose control 358 00:32:50,859 --> 00:32:52,299 .to not go crazy 359 00:32:54,659 --> 00:32:57,139 , but these feelings 360 00:32:57,699 --> 00:33:00,499 They don't just disappear like that 361 00:33:02,099 --> 00:33:03,619 , they are still there 362 00:33:04,139 --> 00:33:05,339 ...repressed 363 00:33:06,979 --> 00:33:08,259 ...waiting 364 00:33:10,019 --> 00:33:12,139 , until one day they turn against you 365 00:33:13,219 --> 00:33:14,579 .violently 366 00:33:15,819 --> 00:33:17,739 , in the end What is depression actually? 367 00:33:18,139 --> 00:33:20,619 ?If not aggression that is directed inwards 368 00:33:23,579 --> 00:33:24,419 .Yes 369 00:33:35,259 --> 00:33:36,539 ...I can 370 00:33:39,659 --> 00:33:41,739 ...It must be really unacceptable, but 371 00:33:41,819 --> 00:33:43,579 I can close my eyes for a moment 372 00:33:46,019 --> 00:33:48,179 ?On the couch, for a few minutes 373 00:33:48,779 --> 00:33:52,299 Since Juan Denker died I couldn't really sleep 374 00:33:55,459 --> 00:33:57,659 Come on, come on 375 00:34:01,419 --> 00:34:02,499 ?For what? 376 00:34:03,819 --> 00:34:05,659 .I want to try something 377 00:34:07,459 --> 00:34:09,219 .I think it might help 378 00:34:12,259 --> 00:34:15,059 Come on. take off your shoes 379 00:34:35,699 --> 00:34:37,739 .Stand here in front of me 380 00:34:45,059 --> 00:34:47,219 Now put your hands on .my shoulders 381 00:34:52,379 --> 00:34:53,779 .like this 382 00:35:00,579 --> 00:35:01,659 .Yes 383 00:35:03,059 --> 00:35:05,139 Now push with all your might 384 00:35:08,739 --> 00:35:09,939 .stronger 385 00:35:15,979 --> 00:35:17,179 Nice 386 00:35:44,619 --> 00:35:46,019 I need a moment 387 00:35:49,099 --> 00:35:50,339 ...or maybe 388 00:35:51,739 --> 00:35:52,939 .again 389 00:35:56,899 --> 00:35:58,139 Come on 390 00:36:03,259 --> 00:36:04,899 Tilt your body like this 391 00:36:06,899 --> 00:36:11,219 The body is bent, so that it is centered , gravity will remain low 392 00:36:12,579 --> 00:36:15,019 So that there will be a center of gravity 393 00:36:16,619 --> 00:36:17,899 .very good 394 00:36:19,659 --> 00:36:21,219 Hands forward 395 00:36:43,579 --> 00:36:45,459 .Comedy. again 396 00:36:46,379 --> 00:36:48,179 .Now without any erotica 397 00:36:48,339 --> 00:36:51,779 What Try to neutralize her completely- 398 00:36:53,419 --> 00:36:56,379 ...what does that mean? I am No eroticism and no fantasies- 399 00:36:57,499 --> 00:37:00,819 ...Yes, I understand. I don't have and without expectations- 400 00:37:01,099 --> 00:37:04,539 Try not to think at all .what can come out of it 401 00:37:05,419 --> 00:37:07,819 .just your movement and breathing 402 00:37:39,059 --> 00:37:41,659 ...give me at least You can surrender if you want- 403 00:37:50,979 --> 00:37:53,419 .okay. I surrender 404 00:38:05,819 --> 00:38:07,499 How do you feel now? 405 00:38:11,539 --> 00:38:12,819 I don't know 406 00:38:19,299 --> 00:38:21,019 .maybe a little... calmer 407 00:38:30,019 --> 00:38:32,619 Surrender can be a wonderful thing 408 00:38:34,379 --> 00:38:35,779 You don't think so 409 00:38:37,099 --> 00:38:38,859 Absolute acceptance 410 00:38:42,299 --> 00:38:45,019 .and acceptance is something that can be practiced 411 00:38:46,379 --> 00:38:48,099 that must be practiced 412 00:38:53,379 --> 00:38:57,219 You can find everything here .in these exercises 413 00:39:02,619 --> 00:39:04,179 ?Can you do it again? 414 00:39:06,699 --> 00:39:09,739 .I think that is enough .just one more time- 415 00:39:09,939 --> 00:39:11,819 I want a moment to understand you This movement to the end 416 00:39:18,699 --> 00:39:19,979 .okay 417 00:39:27,459 --> 00:39:29,299 ...but this time, concentrate on 418 00:39:30,459 --> 00:39:31,819 .Oh, my God 419 00:39:32,739 --> 00:39:33,859 God 420 00:39:34,179 --> 00:39:35,579 Sorry everything is fine- 421 00:39:36,019 --> 00:39:37,379 ...sorry. I am 422 00:39:38,979 --> 00:39:40,139 It's just a scratch 423 00:39:41,699 --> 00:39:44,899 ?Do you have disinfectant? .it's ok- 424 00:39:57,419 --> 00:39:58,699 I'm sorry 425 00:39:58,819 --> 00:40:02,499 I don't know how it happened I didn't notice you weren't ready 426 00:40:04,619 --> 00:40:08,059 Everything is fine. Perfectly fine even 427 00:40:09,339 --> 00:40:11,099 ?Professional risk, what? 428 00:40:11,659 --> 00:40:15,219 No. The truth is that it was once First time this is happening 429 00:40:18,619 --> 00:40:20,099 ?It is possible 430 00:40:26,059 --> 00:40:27,219 Hi .hey, lizzie- 431 00:40:27,379 --> 00:40:28,859 ?You're not done yet 432 00:40:29,019 --> 00:40:31,939 .it got a little long, but we just finished 433 00:40:32,819 --> 00:40:34,779 ...sorry, I only entered the 434 00:40:35,179 --> 00:40:37,579 I'll put the materials here and go 435 00:40:38,139 --> 00:40:39,939 ?Everything is fine yes- 436 00:40:40,339 --> 00:40:42,779 .your next treatment in five minutes 437 00:40:43,059 --> 00:40:44,379 .I know. thank you 438 00:40:50,939 --> 00:40:53,899 We will go over the exercises for the week ?Next, good 439 00:40:54,139 --> 00:40:55,659 .okay. beauty. thank you 440 00:41:02,139 --> 00:41:03,539 Lizzie, wait 441 00:41:04,619 --> 00:41:05,619 What 442 00:41:06,859 --> 00:41:08,419 .it's not what it seems 443 00:41:09,139 --> 00:41:12,019 ?Okay. what it looks like 444 00:41:14,019 --> 00:41:17,259 ...we did the wrestling, and I did something 445 00:41:17,819 --> 00:41:19,699 I don't really know what happened 446 00:41:19,779 --> 00:41:23,619 ?But... what should I have done? ?Leave him like that 447 00:41:23,899 --> 00:41:25,379 No, of course not 448 00:41:27,179 --> 00:41:29,379 .everything is fine, really 449 00:41:29,739 --> 00:41:30,779 ...good 450 00:41:30,939 --> 00:41:32,339 I saw your look 451 00:41:33,699 --> 00:41:35,699 : Yes, it was a look of 452 00:41:35,779 --> 00:41:38,899 Once you have a chance to be with ...man without going straight to sexual tension 453 00:41:38,979 --> 00:41:42,419 I just told you what happened Yes, I know- 454 00:41:42,499 --> 00:41:43,859 ...I'm just saying 455 00:41:44,099 --> 00:41:47,059 And if someone touches you, and sits ...on you 456 00:41:48,299 --> 00:41:51,539 Like, if it's supposed to be like that ...sterile, so don't touch me like that 457 00:41:51,659 --> 00:41:53,579 But that's the whole idea 458 00:41:55,859 --> 00:41:56,859 .okay 459 00:41:59,579 --> 00:42:01,739 .it's not that easy ok- 460 00:42:01,899 --> 00:42:03,019 ...and he's not really either 461 00:42:03,099 --> 00:42:04,059 What 462 00:42:04,619 --> 00:42:06,979 It's not him himself .couldn't neutralize the eroticism 463 00:42:07,259 --> 00:42:09,779 Like, I could feel what was going on .to him when we were there on the floor 464 00:42:09,899 --> 00:42:11,499 .well, that's enough 465 00:42:14,659 --> 00:42:17,299 It's not that I didn't hesitate .before I sent you to him 466 00:42:18,459 --> 00:42:19,259 What 467 00:42:19,379 --> 00:42:22,659 You practically forced me to go to him - Yes, because I wanted to help you 468 00:42:23,379 --> 00:42:29,099 So I said - okay This job is everything to me 469 00:42:29,819 --> 00:42:31,819 ...except for the girls 470 00:42:32,819 --> 00:42:35,979 You know that. you saw it It changed my life 471 00:42:37,499 --> 00:42:39,539 .It saved my marriage I know- 472 00:42:39,619 --> 00:42:43,179 , so I thought if it helped me : It can help you too, so I said 473 00:42:44,099 --> 00:42:46,819 .Okay, I'll take the risk 474 00:42:47,579 --> 00:42:48,699 What a risk 475 00:42:48,819 --> 00:42:51,139 This place is really important to me, Eti 476 00:42:52,779 --> 00:42:56,179 .and I really don't want it to be destroyed Lizzie, it won't happen- 477 00:42:57,299 --> 00:42:59,259 Like, what do you think, I have you .Han 478 00:43:00,379 --> 00:43:04,099 You think I need another man ?In my life that could be my father 479 00:43:04,419 --> 00:43:06,699 .really, give me some credit 480 00:43:07,059 --> 00:43:08,379 ?Okay 481 00:43:12,819 --> 00:43:14,379 .this is my line 482 00:43:15,939 --> 00:43:17,019 I can take it too 483 00:43:38,579 --> 00:43:39,579 What 484 00:43:39,739 --> 00:43:41,019 Nothing 485 00:44:59,179 --> 00:45:00,499 with me 486 00:45:03,179 --> 00:45:04,739 .Hi, Han Hi- 487 00:45:05,379 --> 00:45:06,899 What does it sound like? 488 00:45:09,379 --> 00:45:10,579 How are you? 489 00:45:10,979 --> 00:45:13,099 .I'm fine, Han Yes- 490 00:45:13,259 --> 00:45:15,219 ?Where have you been? 491 00:45:15,379 --> 00:45:17,099 .I was with Lizzie 492 00:45:18,179 --> 00:45:19,859 How was it at Sapir's? 493 00:45:22,699 --> 00:45:24,019 .was...was fine 494 00:45:25,379 --> 00:45:26,539 .interesting 495 00:45:26,939 --> 00:45:28,299 ?...Okay, and 496 00:45:28,979 --> 00:45:30,219 What 497 00:45:32,139 --> 00:45:33,699 Did you get a diagnosis? 498 00:45:34,819 --> 00:45:36,019 No, not yet 499 00:45:38,219 --> 00:45:40,899 ...but he must have said something Why do you dwell on that, han- 500 00:45:41,099 --> 00:45:44,499 It is not that the answer to the riddle will be there Shani, don't hold your breath 501 00:45:44,579 --> 00:45:46,219 You don't know that 502 00:45:47,859 --> 00:45:49,099 listen 503 00:45:49,779 --> 00:45:53,219 It's nice of you to take care of me, witness A certain limit 504 00:46:26,259 --> 00:46:28,099 ?You still love me, Han 505 00:46:30,579 --> 00:46:32,659 I already told you this morning 506 00:46:33,979 --> 00:46:35,579 ?It's not enough 507 00:46:42,139 --> 00:46:43,419 No 508 00:46:46,099 --> 00:46:47,459 .it's never enough 509 00:47:04,339 --> 00:47:06,139 I go out to get some air 510 00:47:06,259 --> 00:47:07,659 Clear your head 511 00:47:08,379 --> 00:47:10,899 Don't forget that the curfew starts soon 512 00:47:15,579 --> 00:47:17,099 ...Dear Mr. Sapir 513 00:47:29,739 --> 00:47:31,099 Mr. S. dear 514 00:47:34,259 --> 00:47:36,139 I wanted to apologize again from the bottom of my heart 515 00:47:36,219 --> 00:47:39,499 and to inform you that I have decided not to come .again 516 00:47:42,699 --> 00:47:43,819 , you understand 517 00:47:44,139 --> 00:47:46,259 , after I left you today 518 00:47:46,459 --> 00:47:48,739 When the blood flows in my veins cheerfully 519 00:47:48,819 --> 00:47:51,099 ...thanks for your wonderful exercises 520 00:47:53,859 --> 00:47:58,259 Thoughts and feelings collided inside me , self-contradictory like that 521 00:47:58,779 --> 00:48:01,059 .that I felt simply crushed 522 00:48:03,219 --> 00:48:07,739 I had strong erotic feelings , towards you 523 00:48:08,579 --> 00:48:11,259 .and at the same time - also a strong dislike for you 524 00:48:29,059 --> 00:48:31,299 Suddenly, a little bit of chaos looked at me 525 00:48:31,419 --> 00:48:33,259 , straight from the depths of my soul 526 00:48:36,339 --> 00:48:38,899 , and I thought to myself: Well, good 527 00:48:39,499 --> 00:48:42,779 I must have gone completely crazy .like my whole family 528 00:48:50,019 --> 00:48:56,019 Oh, this whole letter sounds so good ...melodramatic and pompous 529 00:48:57,259 --> 00:49:01,459 that I feel like petting myself : The head is like a good mother and say 530 00:49:01,779 --> 00:49:04,459 Enough, I gave birth 531 00:49:05,219 --> 00:49:07,259 Everything will be fine 532 00:49:08,899 --> 00:49:12,939 Don't treat yourself and your feelings With such seriousness 533 00:49:30,699 --> 00:49:32,099 , but the truth is 534 00:49:32,499 --> 00:49:36,699 that suddenly I am attacked by a deep emotion , of loneliness 535 00:49:40,499 --> 00:49:43,859 gut feeling that a person , has to deal with his own life 536 00:49:46,459 --> 00:49:48,779 and that outside help is not possible .in no way 537 00:50:05,379 --> 00:50:06,859 , in any case 538 00:50:07,299 --> 00:50:08,419 , S. dear 539 00:50:09,139 --> 00:50:11,779 I think I'll spare you .this letter 540 00:50:14,179 --> 00:50:17,579 But thanks for everything already You did for me 541 00:50:18,699 --> 00:50:20,299 Etty Hilsum